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10/14/2014

Unraveling

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Picture
Photograph by Reka Jellema. June 2011. Untitled. For Addie.
Unraveling

Plastic taste of water
in her jug, loose threads
in a crocheted rug
How long before it unravels
Remembering my ball in the boot
Just wanna kick it, kick it
and run
My feet punching holes
in the snow
Mum yellin' at me --
for doin' nothin'
Grabbin' me in a hug squeezin'
the breath outta me, she reckons
Nana's better off here

She's far better off there, Sis
Look at her
she doesn't even know
you anymore, and this place
look at it
No, I don't mean it like that
You know I don't mean
Don't look at me like that
I called
I wrote
I came back didn't I?

How could he look at me
that way? he was a liar,
a prattler, like Da.
My raw bones crawl into
the edges of that shawl
The one Mum crocheted
her fingers gray and worn
This bench is cold
and on the road a car
slow and shined as death drives by
it's hard to breathe--
the playground bairns stare
snowballs at me
Mum is near a memory
I'm losing 
my
way home

With Kathryn Ross and Brendan Bonsack
By Kathryn Ross, Brendan Bonsack, and Reka Jellema
October 2014

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1 Comment
Beezlaine link
6/15/2015 07:42:29 pm

I found this piece of writings so touching n raw for me as experiencing my own mother whom sadly I never had close relations with suddenly receiving news after looking for her a length of time had been placed in a care facility with Alzheimer It was such a shock n very frustrating that all involved in this decision did not include me therefore taking the options rights choices that may have been helpful n better outcome esp at the beginning of her illness n also took from her n myself the opportunity to have perhaps been able to say things n even find a way to connect such as the distance was between a mother n daughter. It's a most terrible illness where the sufferer is placed in strangers care all personal importance of the ill not known nor for many provided or cared for The loss is enormous the dynamics of such loss is like the skies in quantity n quality Yours here this poetry brought tears n feelings I won't try to express Only ThankYou fer writing and being so sharing
Excuse my rambles Im hopeless at the art of saying less is more
Much kindness n care your way b 💛

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